


More Like Just A Person Who Cares

by boundean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: And titles, Angst, Comforting Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic, Fluff, Insecure Castiel, M/M, Sad Cas, author cas, cas gets writers block, im sucky at tagging, prompt, when i say angst its very slight!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4117012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boundean/pseuds/boundean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay" AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Like Just A Person Who Cares

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on here! *pops party popper*

“No no NO!” Cas growls low in his throat, furiously pressing the backspace button in an effort to clear the offending words off the screen.  _It’s official, I cant write for shit._ Sighing, Cas leans forward, putting his head in his hands.  _I may as well quit now while I’m ahead._

4 weeks. 4 weeks is the deadline. To say that the book is almost ready, would be a complete and utter lie. Cas has written 18 chapters of a planned 24 chapter book. He planned it. He planned every chapter to a T. Yet somehow he managed to mess it up! In addition to the 6 chapters he’s yet to finish, there’s the editing and proof reading to be done. And obviously because Cas is so damned indecisive, he’d change things at the last minute, leaving no time at all to proof read again.

Cas’s eyes start to tear up at the thought. He’d worked so hard to get this far, he’d absolutely loath himself if he fails due to his own stupidity. This is the last book of the trilogy, it needs to go out with a bang.  _Maybe I need a bang…_ When was the last time he-  _oh right_ , when he started writing this god forsaken book. Cas had given up his social life (not that he had much of one to begin with). He’d given up everything to commit to being an author. His boyfriend at the time, Balthazar was less than impressed. Cas still winces at the names that had been thrown his way when they’d broken up. He couldn’t exactly blame Balthazar of course, it  _was_  his fault. Cas was the one who left, not Balth. Cas was the one who took their 3 years together and flushed it down the drain.

Reaching up to brush away the wetness from his cheeks, Cas sits back in his chair. God, he was such an awful person.

“Hey, how’s my buddy doin’!”

Cas groans. No, it’s not Monday yet is it? Dean’s not supposed to be here until Monday. He didn’t even hear the front door open. Sinking lower into his chair and planting his cheek of the cool wood of his desk, Cas bites his lip in an effort to control his emotions. He’s not crying in front of Dean. No way. He just needs to write this book then sleep forever.

“Cas?” Dean calls out from what Cas assumes is the kitchen. Much to Cas’ lack of enthusiasm on the idea, Dean always buys extra groceries just in case he’s too focused on his writing and hasn’t gotten out of the apartment. And no matter how many times Cas offers him money for the food, Dean brushes it off.

“Cas, man?” 

_Oh god hes at the door. Maybe if I stay quiet hell think I’m not here._

“Cas, I know you’re there.”

 _Damn it._ “Go away.” 

“I hate to break it to you J. K. Rowling but I aint leaving.”

“If only I could write half as good as her…” Cas grumbles under his breath, tears forming in his tired eyes once more.

A long silence follows and Cas hopes Dean left. He doesn’t need to be here. Its not like it could be fun for Dean, looking after a stupid, worthless piece of crap writer that cant tell what day it is if it was painted on the back of his hand.

“…I heard that.”

Cas shifts, putting his arms on the desk and places his forehead in the crook of his arm.

“I- I’m coming in okay?” 

Before Cas could protest, Dean’s opening the door. Light from the hallway illuminates the entire study and Cas buries his face in deeper, curling in on himself.

Dean sighs at the sight before him. Paper strewn everywhere, cups of coffee -  _with coffee still in them_ \- have fallen over the desk to the hardwood floor. And there, in the middle of the room slumped over his desk is Cas. How did he manage to trash the entire room in 2 days? 

“Cas…”

“Go away, Dean.”

“I just want–”

“NO! Okay.” Rising his head, Cas looks directly at Dean. “No, just leave me alone so I can get this done without losing my mind.”

“But Cas–”

“STOP! Just stop! I know I’m incapable of looking after myself. I know and at this point I don’t care. I haven’t got a speck of dust in my head let along a brain, so don’t come in here and pretend that everything IS FUCKING ALRIGHT! Its not alright! You being here… makes it worse because you distract me. I hate looking like a dumbass amateur writer, who has the vocabulary of a 12 year old in front of you!”

Cas’ eyes widen as realisation hit him. Who he was talking to. “Oh my god…”

How could he say that? To  _Dean_. The one person who’s stuck with him through his ups and downs? 

“Well…” Dean swallows around the lump in his throat, eyes downcast.  _How could Cas think of himself that way?_  “Just for the record, that’s not what I think of you at all. Far from it.”

Lowering his head, Cas let the tears fall silently while wringing his hands. He cant believe he said those things. He’s never raised his voice before. Dean strides over to where Cas sits, kneeling down to his level. Pulling him in close, Dean wraps his arms around broad shoulders. This was not what Dean had planned when he walked through his door but he couldn’t leave Cas alone after that little speech. He had to touch him. Reassure him. 

Cas immediately clutched at Dean. This is what he wanted. He wanted comfort. He was confused however, that Dean had chosen to stay. Even after what he had said. And even more amazingly, Dean  _didn’t_ see him that way.  _Didn't_ see him how Balthazar had.

“I’m sorry…” Dean sighs against Cas’ shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Cas. I didn’t realise.”  His arms were tightly wrapped around Cas, rocking him slowly back and forth.

“No, Dean. I’m sorry.” he sobbed. “I sh-shouldn’t have said what I-  _what I s-said–_ ”

“Shh Cas, Its okay.” Smoothing his hands down the older mans back in soothing motions, Dean gently pulls back. Afraid he was leaving, Cas’ hands clung tighter. “Look at me.” Pulled back far enough, he tipped Cas’ face up and gently cupped his jaw. “You are an amazing author Cas.  _Amazing_. I’ve read all your books and you are unbelievable at writing. I don’t know why you think you’re not, but Cas–”

Dean brushes the residual tears that streaked Cas’ face, lingering when his thumb drags across the top of his cheekbone. A faint blush blooms on Cas’ cheeks and neck under the attention. Bringing his other hand up to Cas’ face, Dean strokes his cheeks softly, reveling in the heat of the blush and slight roughness of his stubble. 

“Dean?” 

“–you will never seem that way to me.” Dean places a soft tentative kiss against his jaw. “You are smart.” Another kiss “You are witty.” Another “You are gorgeous.” And another “And did I mention how fucking smart you are?” 

Cas sniffs and lets out a small chuckle. “Yes.” Cas’ lips turn up into a watery smile, leaning into Deans touch. His hands still caressing his cheeks, lips just inches away. “Multiple times in fact.”

“Well there see, its the truth.” They both fall silent after that. Cas reveling in the attention Deans giving him. He hasn’t felt like this since… ever. Not even with Balthazar.

“You’re like my guardian angel, you know that?”

“Oh no.  _I’m_  not the angel here…” Dean closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Cas’ “More like just a person who cares.” Sliding his hand down strong arms, Dean grasps Cas’ hands, interlocking their fingers. “A lot.”

“Now when you say ‘a lot’…”

“Oh no.” Dean leans back and places his lips sweetly to Cas’ plump ones. “I cant tell you that until you’ve eaten something decent.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll make a pie?”

Cas raises a brow.  _Just a person who cares my ass._ This man  _is_  an angel. Cas just hopes one day, he could be like that. An angel.  _Dean’s angel…_


End file.
